


I Will Love Your Pieces

by kenainot



Series: When you need your breath taken away, I'll be your thief [3]
Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, How Do I Tag, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 05:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20772935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenainot/pseuds/kenainot
Summary: Oh, please let me know. Let me know how to undo my love.





	I Will Love Your Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> part 3 of the aboverse.
> 
> this is unedited. huehue.

Seungyoon, for the most part of his life, lived with the fact that there's a bitemark on his neck, and he had to wear the same pendant up until a certain age.

Well, up until now.

His father told him he was still a few months old when he was bitten by an alpha. Both of them didn't even know their ranks at that time. He was told that both of their parents freaked out and sought the help of an enchantress to undo the marking.

It could not be done of course.

Accidental mating happens once every millenia, and no magic or science has ever discovered how to undo it. They had two options. The two newly marked pair could live together for the rest of their lives, or they could use magic to have their scents embedded in a pendant. They have to wear the pendant all the time, of course.

It was only natural to choose the second option. They were both kids, and their not ready for the bond that would come. It was added by the fact that Seungyoon's family was moving to Canada. His father's business allowing them to migrate and live their for good.

So yeah, Seungyoon grew up not really smelling other's heat or rut because he's entire system was already haywired to one particular alpha.

His name's Lee Seunghoon, and he saw him a total of three times.

The very first time they met was when Seungyoon was six and Seunghoon was eight. They have not presented yet, and Seungyoon's family was visiting. It was only natural for both of the families to meet. Seungyoon's memory was hazy. He was six so that's understandable.

He remembered the two of them playing on sand. Him always clinging to Seunghoon, and the alpha always holding his hand. There were pictures somewhere in their house about that vacation, and Seungyoon thinks it was a good trip.

The second time he met Seunghoon, the two of them already presented. It was also the day Seungyoon experienced insecurity. He was 13 at that time, Seunghoon was 15. Their families was in Korea for a visit again.

They stayed at the Lee's residence for a week. Seunghoon was nice to him. They talked about school and their interests, and Seungyoon could not help but feel attracted to the alpha. Seunghoon did not hold his hand anymore, but Seungyoon was actually thankful. He would not know what to do if Seunghoon would initiate anything. It was a good thing the two of them treated each other as friends.

But Seungyoon's nose was working very well, and he knew Seunghoon smelled something else. His own scent's always there, but he also smelled peaches. The smell mixed with Seunghoon almost naturally. Like it was meant to be there. And even as their stay ended, Seungyoon could not erase the sweet smell and the insecurity brewing inside of him.

It's like a crack formed, and it was only a matter of time before it'll break.

The third time they saw each other, Seunghoon wasn't even aware of his presence. Seungyoon was 15 and he planned to surprise Seunghoon. The two of them have been exchanging messages regularly, and Seungyoon feels elated at their development. The two of them may be accidental mates, but they could always be friends and maybe become real mates when they finally reach the right age.

He was young and naive.

He was almost skipping as he approached the coffee shop where Seunghoon's staying. He came to the Lee's and he was informed that the alpha was out in a cafe to finish a project.

He entered the establishment, but his steps immediately halted when he spotted Seunghoon with someone on a table far away from him. Seungyoon sat down at one of the vacant chairs, and bit his lip.

His accidental mate didn't even noticed his presence.

The crack is getting bigger now.

Seunghoon was with an omega. The same omega he smelled two years ago. The one that smelled like peaches. He felt his heart drop at the realization. His insecurities getting the best of him. Seungyoon was suddenly so aware of his second gender.

He's a beta. Of course, Seunghoon's more inclined to an omega. They're not even mates in love. It was all a big accident.

He stared at them once again, and saw the two of them laughing at something Seunghoon said.

'They looked so good together.' He whispered to himself.

And just like that Seungyoon stood up, and left the cafe. He booked a flight back to Canada, and never responded to Seunghoon's message ever again.

The thought of being a beta, and not being good enough for an alpha like Seunghoon creeping into him all the time.

*

Seungyoon was not really sure if it's the right decision. He means living alone in Korea where he's more of a foreigner than an actual citizen.

He grew up in Canada, but he's back in Seoul to pursue his studies. He was offered a scholarship in a prestigious university, and his parents actually encouraged him to go. They wanted to go back to their home country as well. The only reason they stayed on Canada was because their son has already built a life there.

Seungyoon moved to a two bedroom apartment near the university, and would start his classes next week.

He knew his parents has already informed Seunghoon's family. Seungyoon wasn't expecting anything though. His mind still set on the fact that Seunghoon has someone else in his life. Someone more suitable than him.

"Here's your vanilla latte and cookies."

His reverie was broken when a beta handed him his order. He immediately said his thanks and took a sip. The coffee shop worker still staring at him.

"Are you new here?" The beta asked and sat in front of him, putting his tray on the table too.

Seungyoon nodded, "Yes, I'm going to start studying at Axis University next week. I'm trying to familiarize myself with the neighborhood." He answered honestly.

The man in front of him smiled and extended his hand for a handshake.

"My name's Kyung. Welcome, here. I may not look like it but I own this cafe with my mate so I hope you become a regular. You're really cute."

Seungyoon could not help but giggle as he took the handshake. It was nice to make new friends.

"I'm sure I'll be a regular. You make good vanilla latte." He stated.

Kyung continued to stare at him.

"I'm sorry. You just really look like the cute and soft version of my mate. I can't help but stare." Kyung uttered.

"Oh, it's okay." Seungyoon said as he took a bite of the cookies. It was really good.

"You should meet him to see what I mean, but he's quite busy. I'll be at the counter if you need me." Kyung stated as he stood up and waved him goodbye.

Seungyoon nodded and smiled. The coffee shop is only a five minute walk from his apartment so it's really convenient for him.

The beta enjoyed his time alone, and he was browsing through his newsfeed when a text from an unknown number popped out in his notifications. He absentmindedly clicked the said message.

'Can we talk? This is Seunghoon.'

Of course, Seunghoon would find a way to talk to him. The alpha always finding a way to send him a message at least once a year to talk ever since the beta decided to stop communicating.

Seungyoon never responded.

He sighed. Seunghoon studies at the same university. He's bound to meet him at some point. He bit his lip and typed his reply.

'Yes. I'm free right now. I'm at the beehive coffee shop.'

Now, Seungyoon hopes Seunghoon would decline and says he's busy, or that he doesn't know the place, but he knew it was all wishful thinking.

A reply came after a seconds.

'Be there in five mins.'

"He must be nearby." He whispered to no one in particular. 

By the time Seunghoon arrived at the cafe, Seungyoon has already finished his cookies and he's almost done with his latte.

Seungyoon is good at pretending, and so he formed his lips into a thin smile as Seunghoon sat on the unoccupied seat in front of him.

Seunghoon is looking at him intently.

None of them really speaking.

The beta not really knowing what to say. They have not seen each other for years. He avoided every attempt from Seunghoon.

His heart is hammering inside his chest but he could not afford to slip right now.

He's at fault. He knows that. He just doesn't want to risk falling for a guy who smells of a different person. Yes, his smell is still there, but that's just because of the pendant. They're not really a part of each other. It was all just a product of a mistake. It wasn't anyone's fault. And so he didn't want to own Seunghoon, not when he cherishes someone else.

Like right now.

Seungyoon could smell peaches again. It was so poignant, the beta knew that Seunghoon and that omega were together earlier.

He felt a pain inside his chest.

"I have so many things to say to you." It was Seunghoon who spoke first.

Seungyoon grabbed his vanilla latte and took a sip, waiting for Seunghoon to continue. He has many things to say too, but he chose to stay quiet.

"Where are you staying?" Seunghoon asked, voice a little unsure.

Seungyoon gulped and placed his vanilla latte back on the table. He's used to hearing the alpha calm and confident. They may have not spoken for years, but there was a time when they would call each other everyday. 

That's why his heartbreak was magnified too.

"I'm staying at an apartment near here." He briefly answered.

"Are you ever going to tell me you've moved here?"

Seungyoon was slightly taken aback by the hurt he could hear on the alpha's voice. He's not used to this. Seunghoon was supposed to be confident and always sure of himself.

He didn't deter though. It must be the accidental bond talking. He convinced himself.

"Not really. I wanted to explore the place on my own. And I don't want to inconvenience you." He stated, avoiding Seunghoon's gaze.

"You know you're not an inconvenience." Seunghoon uttered.

Seungyoon could smell the alpha's scent getting more intense. He felt shivers running inside his system.

"I figured you must have places to go, people to meet. I don't want you to feel like you have responsibility or something." Seungyoon tried to be as nonchalant as possible. It was difficult because he could smell anger and frustration coming from the alpha.

It was merited, but the beta tried to ignore the growing intensity of the alpha in front of him.

"It's that what you thought when you avoided all my calls and every attempt to communicate all these years?" Seunghoon's tone is surprisingly calm, but it was also on edge.

He didn't want to answer the question. He didn't want to break down in the middle of a coffee shop.

"Can I go now?" The beta asked instead.

He's not ready for a confrontation.

Seungyoon stood up and did not wait for the alpha to answer. He just started walking away, hoping to shrug away the heavy feeling in his gut.

The alpha is clearly upset, frustrated, and angry. Seungyoon did understand why, but Seunghoon should be okay with it. He has a beautiful omega by his side.

The one that smells like peaches.

He closed the door to his apartment and slumped himself unto the sofa. He was suddenly so drained. The presence of his alpha mate was clearly affecting him. His emotions were suddenly jumbled. He sighed and let his mind travel back to the day he decided to stop talking to Seunghoon.

It was ridiculous. He admits that. He could've asked, waited for an explanation. But he was young and insecure about his second gender. He knew betas were not fancied. They were just there, a neutral gender for the population. And while most people would choose to be a beta, Seungyoon found it jarring. His mate is an alpha and he wanted to be enough for him.

And when it came to the point that he has realized his mistake, he didn't know how to approach his accidental mate anymore.

And now years later, Seunghoon still looks at him intensely. It's the same eyes that stared at the beta years ago. Seunghoon has always been expressive. Seungyoon doesn't know how to feel.

He hopes he could delay meeting Seunghoon again.

*

Of course, the universe is against Seungyoon. He walked out of his class only to find Seunghoon waiting for him outside. Students have looked at the alpha. It seems like it's a rare sight for Seunghoon to be in the fine arts department. He must be a famous figure in their school.

Seungyoon sighed and walked towards the alpha. Seunghoon is staring at him again. The beta could feel the entire student population present in the hallway staring at them too.

He didn't want to draw attention but it's a bit too late now. He could even hear some of the students gasp as they witness the scene in front of them.

"This is your last class, right? Let's go somewhere." Seunghoon stated, his hands holding the beta's arms to guide him out of the hallway.

Seungyoon blinked. The alpha must've gotten his class schedule from his parents. He didn't even have the chance to decline since they were already walking towards the alpha's car.

"Where are we going?" Seungyoon managed to ask as he put his seatbelt on.

Seunghoon's eyes were focused on the road. It's clear that he doesn't want to answer the beta's question. It smelled intense in the car too.

Seungyoon pursed his lips and stared at the road in front as well. He wasn't going to force a conversation too. He's the one that wanted to cut ties with Seunghoon in the first place.

It was a thirty minute drive, and Seungyoon found himself sitting on the trunk of Seunghoon's car. The alpha is somewhere in the backseat getting the food he prepared.

The beta sighed, not really knowing the outcome of this conversation. He knew Seunghoon is going to get the truth out of him. It's already making him hurt, and he has not even started yet.

He didn't need to wait long. Seunghoon sat beside him, handing him a sandwich. It was bacon.

His favorite.

He told the alpha about it years ago, and yet, he remembers.

Seungyoon took a bite. His gaze still set on the cliff in front of them. He didn't want to meet Seunghoon's stare. He's afraid of what he'll see in the alpha's eyes.

"Are you here for good?"

Seungyoon heard Seunghoon answered. The beta nodded, not really knowing what to say more.

"Are you that adamant of keeping me away from your life? Is that what you really want?"

There it is again. The pain in Seunghoon's voice. It's making him hurt too. Seungyoon pursed his lips instead of answering.

"Seungyoon-ah, please." Seunghoon's voice was laced with insecurity.

No, it was Seungyoon who's supposed to feel that way.

Not Seunghoon.

Seungyoon could feel the tears threatening to fall.

"You smell like peaches." He whispered, still not looking at his mate.

Seunghoon stayed quiet. The alpha waiting for Seungyoon to speak some more.

"You never smelled like me. You always smell like peaches. Even now." His voice quivered as he said the words.

Seungyoon has also met Seunghoon's gaze. The alpha confused and then suddenly aware. The alpha's scent changed into something else. Confusion and pain.

His eyes misty as well.

"Seungyoon, I-"

"I saw you with that omega. He's beautiful. You suit each other." Seungyoon kept his words short. He's not sure if he still could take the pain inside his heart. 

The aching feeling brewing and brewing all throughout the years. And now that he has finally let some of it out, he felt like he was getting ready to explode. To topple over and shatter into pieces.

He watched Seunghoon reached for him. He flinched at the contact.

The beta saw how hurt Seunghoon was when he rejected the touch.

"When I don't smell like him anymore, would you talk to me for real?" Seunghoon's voice was small. 

Hurt.

Longing.

Seungyoon let a tear fall from his face.

"What are you going to do? Deprive yourself by not seeing that omega? It's clear that you cherish him with all your heart. I don't want to be the reason he's hurt." He whispered, looking away.

"I don't want you to hurt too. It's all a misunderstanding. Please listen to me. His name is Jinwoo. He's my best friend and he would love to meet you." Seunghoon uttered.

Seungyoon smiled.

"I don't think I'm ready to do that." The beta muttered.

It wasn't even about Jinwoo being a best friend or anything else anymore.

It was about him. About how unsure he is about himself. About the love he could offer to Seunghoon. He's so deep in his insecurities that he could not help but think that he's never going to be enough.

Seunghoon must've smelt and felt him.

He could hear Seunghoon sob. He willed himself not to look at the alpha.

It was all messed up.

"Can you take me home now? I don't know how to go back." Seungyoon said as he glanced down.

He didn't wait for an answer. he hopped off the trunk, made his way to the passenger's seat and waited for Seunghoon inside.

He's being irrational, but he could not help but feel so hurt and insecure.

He's a beta. He would never be sweet like an omega. He could not even bear a child for Seunghoon. Everything was making him hurt.

The cracks have been broken. He's just made up of pieces now.

The drive back to Seungyoon's apartment was spent in silence.

There's not even a goodbye.

*

"You seem so lost in there."

Seungyoon tried his best to smile as Kyung sat in front of him, placing his vanilla latte on the table.

No cookies for today.

"You can tell me, you know." Kyung sincerely stated.

"I just don't feel good about myself." Seungyoon admitted.

"Did you and your mate had a fight?" asked Kyung.

Seungyoon pursed his lips. It was not even a fight. he ran away.

Again.

This time, Seunghoon let him.

Kyung must've sensed the sadness in Seungyoon's scent, but he waited for the beta's response.

"I don't know how to love him right. I feel like I won't ever be enough." Seungyoon tried.

He tried so hard, but the sob escaped right before he could stop it.

"Oh, honey." Kyung uttered, immediately standing up to hug the younger beta.

Seungyoon cried. Right there in the middle of the coffee shop. Kyung just held him, and for the first time in a long time, Seungyoon felt a little better.

He took a deep breath and wiped the tears on his face. Kyung patted his head.

"Talk to him. Tell him how you really feel. But only if you're ready, of course."

Seungyoon knows it's the right thing to do. He just doesn't know if he would ever be ready at all.

*

The answer never came because Seunghoon was at his front door a week after his breakdown inside the coffee shop.

It was almost twelve midnight.

He opened his door and let the alpha come inside his apartment. The alpha is looking at him softly. Almost as if he's afraid Seungyoon is going to break some more.

Seungyoon motioned for the alpha to sit on the sofa. The beta opted to sit on the single chair. Both of them facing each other.

The beta pursed his lips. Seunghoon doesn't smell like peaches anymore.

He wanted to cry.

"How are you?" Seunghoon asked, voice gentle and sweet.

"I'm okay." Seungyoon answered briefly. He knew his voice was shaking. He knows he's going to cry at some point.

"I'm sorry." uttered Seunghoon. "I'm sorry for being so insensitive."

Seungyoon wiped the tear that escaped.

"You don't owe me an apology. I didn't tell you anything. I'm at fault too." He whispered.

He saw Seunghoon shake his head, clearly not agreeing.

"I could've asked. Pursued and never stopped until you told me, but I didn't. I let you slip away. I thought you didn't want me. You must have someone else. Maybe you wanted to live a life without me. It was selfish thinking. I never thought that it was me who hurt you." Explained the alpha.

Seungyoon looked at Seunghoon.

"I'm sorry for not telling you how I feel." Seunghoon muttered, eyes not meeting the alpha.

"I'm not really in the best state of mind for the past years. I thought not talking to you would stop the cracks, but it only left me to pieces. I can't undo what I feel right now."

They were both quiet after that. Seungyoon saw Seunghoon slowly making his way towards him until he was standing close. Just enough distance between them for Seungyoon not to feel uncomfortable.

"Can I touch you?" Seunghoon asked in a whisper.

The beta nodded.

He felt Seunghoon cup his cheeks.

Seungyoon looked up and met the alpha's gaze. It was soft and loving. Telling Seungyoon that it's okay to tell him how he really feels.

"I want to love you right, but I feel like I won't ever be enough for you. Everything was just an accident. I kept thinking you would never want to mate me if the circumstances were different. You would've chosen a suitable omega for you. I was-"

"Shhh." Seunghoon whispered. "Please don't say that. You're more than enough. I know our bond was formed accidentally but I would never wish for anyone else. hmm?" Seunghoon said in a rush.

Seungyoon could feel the tears running down his cheek. Seunghoon is crying too.

"I don't think it's okay to love me. I'm in pieces right now." The beta whispered.

Seunghoon kissed his forehead.

"Then I will love all your pieces and mend them one by one. I will show you why you're more than enough every single day for the rest of our lives. Just allow me to do it. Allow me to love every part of you that you can't love yet." 

Seungyoon sobbed. The words hitting his heart, and stirring his nerve endings.

Perhaps, it was the only thing that he needed to hear.

*

Seungyoon didn't know how long was he in Seunghoon's arms or when was he transferred into the bed.

He didn't even know how he fell asleep. He knew he was crying.

He opened his eyes and saw Seunghoon already looking at him. The alpha is also holding his hand.

"Hi," Seungyoon uttered.

"Hi," Seunghoon answered back, lifting his hand and kissing his palm.

"You hungry?" Seunghoon asked.

"Not really." Seungyoon answered.

"When you want to, and only if you want to, Would you like to meet Jinwoo?" Seunghoon asked carefully.

"Okay." Seungyoon agreed. It was time to face his feelings.

He saw Seunghoon smiled at his answer.

"I will keep my promise." The alpha whispered. "I will love all your pieces, even the ones you don't want me to love. You're my mate and I don't care if it's an accident or not. I want you to know that."

Seunghoon's voice is firm and reassuring.

"I'm not going to promise you anything right now, but I will try my best and love you right this time." Seungyoon whispered.

They have a long way to go.

"And that's enough for me." Seungoon leaned in to give him a kiss on the forehead.

Yes, they have a long way to go, but they're together now.

Seungyoon fears are slowly fading now.

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me on twitter: @kenainot
> 
> comments are highly appreciated.


End file.
